A Starryteller’s poem for Valentine’s Day

Jupiter was named after the Roman King of Gods,

His Greek equivalent Zeus, loved many women’s bods.

Sixty-seven of Jupiter’s moons there are,

And each named after a lascivious memoir.

 

First comes Metis, who caused Zeus some strife,

She was cunning, his cousin, and his first wife.

Then comes two nymphs both beautiful and the same,

Adrasteia and Amalthea, taught the king no shame.

They raised him and fed milk to the young king,

By becoming a goat, which Zeus found inspiring.

Next is Thebe, great lover of Zeus,

But was also his child, this dude is obtuse!

 

The first things to be spotted through a telescope,

Some larger moons brought Galileo great hope.

Io was Zeus’ wife Hera’s pretty priest,

And turns out untrustworthy at the very least!

Zeus and Io mated at their leisure,

So Hera turned her into a Heifer!

Then Zeus moved on and decided to turn into a bull

And Europa was next on his list of women to pull.

She rode into the sunset on the back of the beast,

To be made queen of Crete and had two kids at least.

Next Zeus took fancy of a pretty young boy,

Ganymede was his name and he hailed from Troy.

He was abducted to pour wine for the Greek gods,

So they could perve over his highly toned quads.

Callisto was a stunner and vowed to stay chaste,

So Zeus pursued her with additional haste.

Her mentor Diana was not best pleased,

So turned her into a bear and poor Zeus grieved.

We have come to the end of the Galilean moons,

And hope unlike Zeus, for them you don’t swoon!

 

Zeus moved on to another lover Themisto,

And then turned into a swan to give Leda a go.

With Himalia… Zeus then proceeded,

Lysithea was who he next decided he needed.

Elara’s beauty caught Zeus’ eye,

But Hera soon shrieked her jealous cry.

And so Zeus hid her underground,

Never again to be found.

There was nothing this king didn’t try to seduce,

Even married women were at the mercy of Zeus.

To entice Ixion’s wife Dia, Zeus had to transform

Into a stallion and hubby was left forlorn.

Carpo was a child of the king,

And for once no mention of an incestuous fling!

Maybe Zeus’ appetite was finally full,

But over your eyes I shall not pull the wool.

There are still fifty-two moons left to be named,

And they must follow the theme, it is proclaimed.

So astronomers hunt through every story of Zeus,

To find a lover or daughter who may be of use.

Thankfully Zeus never ceased in the hunt,

And the ladies remained drawn to his divine front.

We are grateful to Zeus and his wandering eyes,

But not to follow his behavior, would make you wise.

Astronomers may need some moon-naming material,

But his antics shouldn’t be considered light or ethereal.

For ‘tis Valentine’s day; a time to celebrate true love,

And leave the lewd behavior for the gods up above.

jupiter's moons