Latest updates on the Wellington (Sedon) earthquake

Today at 2:31 PM NZST all Wellingtonians stopped working and instead, instantly occupied the space “under the tables for all the wrong reasons”. Immediately after that, in a perfect orchestration, everyone vacated their working places! Wellington’s CBD suddenly become alive as people started their silent march down the hill – since nobody could talk on the phone due to the network overload! Why down the hill nobody knows but fact is that the entire working force of Wellington acted in solidarity, for once, today, in a new type of strike … the strike slip!!

Tackling these problems one at the time… I feel very happy to inform you that:

a. the unfortunate situation of occupying the space under the tables for the wrong reason of has now been rectified! Everyone is currently (7 hours later) under the tables for all the right reasons!! (Everyone over 18 years of age of course!!) Since all government buildings (and TePapa) were vacated till further instructions, trains shut down and the only motorway jammed, pubs become the next logical step for the humankind of Wellington!! People who previously were hanging out on the streets moved mostly towards these establishments, where the space under the tables reverted to being utilised in the traditional way: demonstrating the gravitational hurdles of maintaing one’s equilibrium in conditions of imponderability – with direct link to supporting research in applied Bayesian inference (estimating time and severity of the strike’s after-effects?)!!

b. More than that, Wellington is now feeling very festive, the morale surpassing even the New Year’s Eve atmosphere! Songs and loud happy voices can be heard in the streets (which was unheard of till now) and basically everyone feels compelled to talk to everyone else in public places, regardless of the person’s age, sex, colour, nationality or religion.

c. I would also like to express my gratitude towards the two helicopter pilots who patrolled the Greater Wellington area today after and during the strike! They systematically looked for tsunamis and other phenomena germane to earthquakes, thus keeping everyone else safe inside the pubs! I feel for them, it must have been a long patrol since earthquakes came one after another after another after another after another …

I hope not to keep you posted with more adventures from PetriDishLandia, tomorrow and the following days!

Reporting (still a)live,yours truly

Supplementary reading:
Media feels things would be a lot easier if Seddon would just rename itself ‘Wellington’

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