As Valentine’s Day celebrates the heart’s passions, I reflect on an extraordinary lunch with Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, a figure whose journey from the ocean’s depths to the expanse of space is inspiring tomorrow’s innovators, encapsulating the boundless realms of human curiosity and determination. Thanks to the U.S. Embassy, 11 of us, members of the “N.Z. Women in Space” network, of which I’m a founding member, basked in the opportunity to engage with Stefanyshyn-Piper, a U.S. Astronaut and Navy Captain, at Foxglove on Valentine’s Day. Her stories, from her favourite space food to the unparalleled view of the stars during a spacewalk, captivated us all.

The power of having a role model

The U.S. Embassy, which facilitated these meetings, has always been highly supportive of bringing various role models in front of our students and young career professionals. The role of a mentor or a role model is not there to give you instructions on what to do, as each of us is unique, but to stand proof that anything is possible and all you have to do is ask for directions and make an effort to get there yourself. 

Mechanical engineer by training, Stefanyshyn-Piper’s career is an exemplar of the power of interdisciplinary skills and the pursuit of excellence. Her transition from a diving and salvage officer to a warfare officer and, ultimately, to an astronaut who played a pivotal role in constructing and supporting the International Space Station showcases the seamless integration of sea and space exploration. Her advice to aspiring astronauts is clear and strong: mastery of science is essential.

So it is true that just being around someone of her calibre changes something in you, and by the end of the encounter, I felt refocused, with a new sense of calm and newfound inspiration. Humans are fascinating creatures because those around us can easily influence us, which mostly happens covertly. So when you are in the presence of someone great, there’s an involuntary subtle change: your shoulders get straighter, your outlook goes a bit further than you thought possible, and you start asking yourself, what if I could be like that person? 

I was twice as lucky as I saw her again the next day as we took her to the Hutt Valley High School (HVHS), where, together with my partner Sam, I’ve been delivering Spacewardbound.NZ programmes for the last two years.

While I learned a bit about her career, as is always the case for inspirational people on a speaking tours with time constraints, the best part has been discovering some of her life lessons learned, which she generously shared with us. It is by standing on the shoulders of giants, and to me she is one of them, that we see how far our own frontier can go. 

How do I get to be an [astronaut]?

– replace astronaut with any other career path you have set your heart to.

On 1990’s Valentine’s Day, the Voyager spacecraft took the famous photo of the Pale Blue Dot. We all got to love Earth a bit more after seeing this photo. In line with that, this Valentine’s Day, we talked about the importance of loving your job, no matter what that job is: “That’s the most important thing, that you find that passion, that career that you love and go for it”, Heidemarie said. 

“What made it possible for me to eventually become an astronaut is that I loved math and science; those were my best subjects.” 

So, have a lofty goal you love so much that everything else, including your efforts to get there, becomes a detail. 

“Going to Navy dive school was a little more difficult than just going to swim in the lakes and diving down underneath”, Heidemarie explained to the teachers gathered to hear from her at HVHS. “I figured out I got my engineering degree, I figured out how to get that done, I figured out this is most physical, so I’m going to figure out how to do it. So when they say girls can’t do pull-ups, yes, you can do pull-ups, but it takes a lot of work. And you compete against the men when you go out running. I thought I was a pretty good runner and, turns out, I was the slowest in my class, except for the fact that I was a better swimmer than a lot of them and I was also a lot smarter when it came to do anything technical. We had to do salvage and ended up giving lessons in math to the other half of the class. You may not be the best in everything, but whenever you do something, always make sure that there are a couple of things that you are the best at, and then people tend to forget that you are not the strongest or the fastest if you’re the smartest or the best swimmer.”

Throughout her visit to Wellington, Stefanyshyn-Piper’s engagements—from the “N.Z. Women in Space” lunch, inspiring teachers at Hutt Valley High School and other stops in a fully packed schedule, underscored her commitment to empowering the next generation of explorers and innovators. 

About applying to be an astronaut

” A little bit later, I met somebody else who was applying for the astronaut programme, and I thought, he’s not a pilot; how can he be an astronaut? You had to have a technical degree. That’s one of the first things NASA looks at. And they look at your work experience, and I thought, you know what, I’m fixing ships underwater, why can’t I go from this to that? Fix a ship underwater and build a space station in space. It made sense to me; I always thought that when I saw astronauts going out for a spacewalk, it looked a lot more like diving than flying in an aeroplane, and I thought, by golly, if aviators can do it, then I can do it too. So, I went ahead and applied. The first time, I got a letter back that said thank you very much, but please try again”.

“A lot of people apply multiple times to become an astronaut, and quite often is that they might not need your expertise at that time”, said Heidemarie, so keep up the good work and try again. 

About being in space: 

“You loosen your seat harness, and initially, you do not move. When you think about it, wait a minute, there’s no gravity; why am I not moving? But if you think about basic physics, yes, there is no gravity holding you down, but what’s going to push you out of the seat? You push yourself out of the seat, and then you will float up.”

What a fantastic life lesson this is too. 

When you have to change plans:

During one of her EVAs, she opened the toolbox only to find one of the tools spreading grease everywhere. NASA was very clear about grease, which cannot go on the spacesuit or anything else, and it needed to be dealt with as soon as possible. By the time the emergency cleaning was over, a toolbag drifted into space.

“It’s amazing you have one bad thing happen and you find a better way of doing the job.”,

she said. Advice that so many of us can relate to. They ended up using less grease, which was a better solution for the job.

“Figure out how to press on and get the job done; at the end, that’s what people are going to remember.”

Following her tenure at NASA, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper further distinguished herself within the U.S. Navy, taking on pivotal command roles that underscored her leadership and technical prowess. After departing NASA in 2009, she served as a chief technology officer at the US Naval Sea Systems Command. Her command journey continued as she became the commanding officer at the Naval Surface Warfare Center, Carderock Division, and later led the Southwest Regional Maintenance Center, overseeing crucial non-nuclear ship maintenance. Her retirement in 2015 as a Navy Captain marked the culmination of 30 years of exemplary service, blending her spaceflight experience with naval leadership to inspire future generations.

Her experiences, detailed in various articles and her own recounted adventures, not only highlight the achievements of women in STEM but also serve as a beacon for young girls everywhere, illuminating the path toward achieving their dreams in space exploration or any field they choose to pursue. Whatever your dream is, surround yourself with inspirational people and always look up.